We do it to ourselves, or more accurately I do it to myself. I see a goal and lunge forward not taking the time to think of the repercussions on others. I know what I need to accomplish and I go for it thinking rationally and in the extreme. lets shed some illumination on what I mean.
My wife and I have recently adopted, but before that we moved across the country, bought a house, furnished (Spectacularly) said house, I have been excelling at work earning a 5 year lead on my peers in terms of promotions and raises, we have two dogs, run a part time business and I go to school. This is all within the real of affordable, profitable and doable. I consistently strive to make my situation better in the future and to that end I have decided to pursue my education with a renewed fervor.However I would not be me if I decided to take on this challenge in a manageable way. Instead I will just add on to my existing workload. Increasing the number of credit hours I took was potentially beneficial, deciding to take on two concurrent sciences with labs and increasing my work demand was not. Hands down.
I’m sitting alone in a Starbucks Cafe at 1930 writing to the static of my WordPress instead of working on either the extra credit I have, the required homework, or studying for the test I have all of which only applies to one of the classes I’m taking. I do this not because I am secure in my grade, not because I understand the material and worry not for the upcoming Mind-slay that will be disguised as a common chemistry test. No I am doing this because I am drowning and completely and utterly afraid of failure. I consider myself a smart man, recent events have not diminished that, just lead to the understanding that I do have limits and that they are rapidly being approached.
Writing is incredibly cathartic. Though still no replacement for exercise. I know there are very few who will read this and that is a fact that I am strangely alright with. The one aspect of my life where I don’t care if I “Win” or “Lose”. I thank you for that opportunity…
The Endeavor 